这几天连续的几件事把感情推向危险的边缘，吾爱已尽，已经不知道该怎么办了，闺蜜说让我放弃因为她了解我，哈哈~~~~ 明天去谈判，不知会怎样。 吾已不知如何是好，哀哉。

疯了呵呵~~~ 今天在学生那里看到一句话，是写在hello kitty的笔上“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened........" 这句话来的恰恰好。 很清楚是我的不好，固执，任性，唯我独尊，胆小，不安，没自信，很难完全投入自己的感情。应该说我不配被人爱，不懂的爱别人的人，不会得到永久的爱。所以不应该继续霸占的他，狠狠心，咬咬牙，放他走，说不定是对他的成全，对自己的残忍。但是其他人不会这样想，他们会认为是我伤了他的心，我是坏女孩。我不下地狱谁下地狱，太讽刺了。

如果明天一切顺利，这件事会随雾散去，阴影还是会留下。想要挽留，有想长痛不如短痛。人太复杂了，贪婪。

You always protect me since the day I born, don't let anyone or anything to hurt me. But you never know sometimes you hurts me the most. I cant even hate you, because you are my dad, because I love you. So I blame myself for not being a good girl, didnt try to understand you....And I am sorry, pls forgive me.

really it isn't his fault, cos I told him to hand out with friends more often instead of me................ I dun know what I want already......All my fault............

12.05 am just reached home and I am still crying, my tears cant stop coming down...haha~~~ I know I should not cry but I really cant stop it........I am sorry~~~~~~~~~

So ytd was his game cosplay competition, he won, he was so excited. So excited until he almost forgot about me, I know it is not his fault. But I just want to hug him.... told him I am so happy for him. I dun want his prize, I just want him to give me a chance to hug him.

From 3+ in the afternoon I reached there, but he is not himself, at least not my anata, I cant have him, cos so many ppl wanted to take his photo, well I really happy for him. Then just a kiss, I know his busy, very busy, and I cant help him, I cant do anything for him. I played BANG with them, but my eyes always looking for him, always. Because of him I cancelled my tuition, when he is on the stage, I wished he will hug me 1st, but he just walked pass me and asked for help to take out his wing....

I told myself that wing very heavy, his should take out 1st. After he dress down, 1st thing he ask me is abt him wallet and hand phone, den came to me ask where is his prize...haha~~~den walk off.... At the moment, I really cant take it...feel that the prize really more important than me or more important than give me a hug..... I was very angry..........den I start to emo....emo walking.....emo following him, while I was at the back and he was far far in front..... ps me....oh~~~that is one more kiss when we were walking out the hall....haha~~~~~that's it.............................. emo emo emo emo....... and the most angry part was after dinner, finally he rmb to hug me, I was so happy that I can finally hug him den he walked off again...........one and only time he put his arm around me for just 10 secs.....haha...........And I wanted this hug from the start.............how pathetic................

Maybe I just expect too much from him............

MY BAD MY BAD MY BAD MY BAD...I expect too much....I should not want that much.....知足常乐

one more thing, 1st time he sit opp me when we go out have dinner as a big group.....haha.....maybe i think too much......

Couples do quarrel a lot, we quarrel again, but this time he learned from me which is turn off his phone. He must be very mad at me. Well cant help!!!╮(╯▽╰)╭

This is a sign, our honey month is over. One day we will break up, cos he cant get it any more. Cos I am the one who really make him go mad. He said his numd already. Sooner or later, I hope I can be prepared. Haha~~I know that is all my fault, maybe 80%. But I dun want to change that. That is who I am, I am not going to change for any one, even that means I have to spent my whole life with myself.

I know I am cold, cruel. But deep inside I still believe I am a good girl. What I did is just trying to protect myself getting hurts. So I go to hurt others. I am self ship but I am always a good friend to everyone.

NO ONE IS PERFECT. I AM NO ONE.

feels like to write something,but i can post on facebook, he will see that. Even though i told him this blog before, well i dun think he did save this web.....haha what am i talking about?

Obviously, our honeymoon is over, so now is trying to make sure this relationship can last.

I really dun like holiday, yes I can have a break. Everyday stay at home alone, feels bored, playing games. However, camp is coming soon.... something to look forwards~~~~~~ He does not like I am going to camp.... He say I dun give him security. I dun know what did i done to make him feels that way.... Well maybe I just to "delicious" haha

I want freedom!!! I am tired emotionally, but somehow feels happy, you know there is someone love you, care about you and maybe crazy about you. That means you are not no one. You are important to someone.

Just random thoughts nothing else......

Happy holiday and Happy 4 month anniversary (almost forgot about that) my bad

haha~~he was so shocked and excited by my suggestion. chalet is just a little thing that is in my mind. I have some plan which is even bigger than that. Of cause, I am not going to tell him. I dun know his reaction would be so big..... It's funny to see him like that, talking with no sense at all.

Anata, I love you!